Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
