Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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