i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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