Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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