just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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