Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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