Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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