i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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