I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
