he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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