Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
