I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
