my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
