He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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