You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
