How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
