if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
