need another drink. this is the easiest way
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
