THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
