Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
