He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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