Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I got chris browned last night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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