The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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