Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
