Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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