your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
