How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We left the knife in your bed.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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