she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
