Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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