so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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