I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
