im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
