New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
