my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
