Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
honey bunches of taint.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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