all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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