i may or may not be watching the land before time
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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