So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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