Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
