As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
