he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
