just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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