What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
