oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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