shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
