That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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