He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
