Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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