fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize