No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
