I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
