i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
