On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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