we have officially lost it.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
