at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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