He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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