Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Congratulations! We have a period
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
