no, he came in my armpit
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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