I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
