I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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