nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Found your dick twin last night
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
