she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize